Love All, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None
by lifeisbeautiful2.0
Summary: After a hard case Emily has been feeling down. She's a year older, a year wiser, and another year single. Her BAU family has been a wonderful distraction, but Emily wants more. She wants to start her own family. Will she surrender to love or will she run and hide? Will JJ love her back?
1. Chapter 1

I sat at my desk worried, how was I going to make it through another 5 hours of work? We had spent so many hours on our last case and all I wanted was to go home. Surround myself in the familiarity of my apartment and most of all I wanted to see Sergio. This case was particularly hard; any case that involved children was hard on me, much as it was on my team. Hotch and JJ both had children at home and most of all they experienced these cases on a different level than all of us. I could sympathize, but deep down, I had no idea what they must feel when we look at the photos, enter the crime scene, or speak to the parents.

I'd finished my paperwork a little after we got back to headquarters and watched Morgan and Reid bicker about what women really wanted from a man. Normally I would be all for this distracting conversation, but I didn't have it in me today. So when they approached me with a question I got up from my desk and walked over to the break room to get a cup of coffee. I was a little frustrated with them, how could they not feel the way I did? How could this case not matter to them? How could they just move on so quickly? I've never had this issue and I think it was because I didn't have any family members with children… until now.

I loved every single member of my team, they were my family, but today was a bad day. We all had bad days, and even though we should have been the best at hiding our true feeling, I always felt I was the worst of us all. Morgan could read right through me, I had to get away from him. I didn't want to explain anything. I didn't want to talk about it, at least not to him. I knew what he would tell me and I needed a different perspective.

What I actually needed was for this day to be over, I needed to go home, crawl in bed and surrender. Surrender to the guilt, surrender to the pain in my heart, surrender to the tears that I fought through this whole case. After struggling to make a fresh pot of coffee, I walked into Hotch's office and plopped down in the chair in front of his desk.

"Emily, is everything okay?" He asked as he looked up from his paperwork, concern on his face. I swallowed the lump in my throat, as my eyes clouded over I had to look away.

"I'm having a bad day" was all I could get out before lifting my hands to my face to wipe my tears.

He stood from behind his desk, walked over to the door and softly closed it. He gestured for me to move over the couch and sat next to me. We sat for a few minutes in silence before he took my hand. He was one of the strongest men I knew, even after he lost Hailey, even having to raise Jack all by himself. I struggled to keep my breath steady, I struggled to keep my eyes cleared, but when he took my hand, my walls crumbled and I fell apart. He embraced me and I sobbed into his shoulder, I stayed there for what felt like 10 minutes without saying a word. He selflessly rubbed up and down my back to calm me and I was nothing more than grateful. I loved this man; he was a pillar in my life and I would die for him.

"Emily, what is this about? Why are you so upset?"

I pulled back, I wasn't entirely sure what had brought this on. I had no reason to be this upset over the case. We had all been there, we all saw the horrible things people do. I sat back and rubbed the tears from my eyes. I looked up at Hotch as he smiled down at me, nodding, giving me approval to speak.

"I can't imagine how hard this case has been on you. All those boys that monster destroyed. I… I have no right to be upset, but those boys reminded me of Jack, hell they reminded me of Henry and I was powerless to protect them. How am I…"

I tried to question.

"Emily"

"But Hotch" I said as I pulled further away to stand over near the window.

"Emily" he stood behind me, hand on my shoulder. I moved to pull away, to fight these emotions of guilt, how would I protect the children in my family?

"Emily, stop this! You have been a wonderful Aunt to Jack and Henry. They love their sleepovers, beating you on Mario Cart, Sergio, and they love you, their Auntie Em. I have something for you…"

He moved over to his briefcase, pulled something out and walked back over to me.

"I was supposed to wait until tomorrow, but Jack gave this to me before we went on the case. He wanted to make sure you got this on your birthday, you know, in case we were still in the field"

I looked down at his hands and found a card. My eyes clouded over again, these children, these boys whom at every family gathering fought each other to sit next to me, begged me for sleep overs when we had the weekends off. These beautiful boys whom will most likely be the only men who would truly owe my heart ... other than Sergio… knew exactly how to make me feel better. I took the card from Hotch's hand and smiled at the writing on the front. _To Our Most Favoritest Auntie Em_. Under the writing was picture of us at the park. I was sitting with JJ watching Henry, Jack, Hotch, Morgan, and Reid play catch. The ball had rolled over to where JJ and I sat, as I reached for the ball Henry and Jack tackled me. I was on the ground in less than a minute with two boys tickling me to give up the ball. We had been laughing so hard, red faced and all. I had no idea someone had taken a picture of us and it had automatically become one of my favorites. When I opened the card, a little slip of paper fell out. It was a hand made voucher for one movie night/sleep over extravaganza with Jack and Henry. Jack's card was wonderful and exactly what I needed at the moment. He wished me the best of birthdays and told me to redeem my voucher as soon as possible. He even helped Henry write his name at the bottom of the card. They were growing so fast! I looked up at Hotch and smiled, he knew that I was feeling better.

"They love you very much Emily. You are very capable for protecting them. We can't save all the children in the cases we work; we won't always get there in time. We see the very worst in people and at the end of the day; we have to move on to another case. There will always be cases, there will always been families that need us. But there is still beauty in this world. There are still people that love each other, and there are happy children. Don't forget that Emily. If your paperwork is done, go home. Get some rest. Jack and I are expecting you over for dinner tomorrow at 6pm… for you birthday of course".

I looked up at Hotch nodded and smiled

"I'll be there, text me if you need me to bring anything"

I left his office in higher spirits, stopped at my desk to pack up before saying goodbye to Morgan and Reid, wishing them a nice weekend. They looked at me, eyes filled with concern, I assured them that everything was okay and that I was feeling as if I was coming down with something. They didn't push and I was grateful. Before leaving the compound I stopped by JJ's office. As I looked through the window, I could see she was reading a file, deep in concentration. She looked so beautiful then and I knew Hotch was right. There were still beautiful people in the world and JJ was one of them. She had the most beautiful heart, she was my blessing in disguise and I cherished every moment I got to spend with her. She picked me up when I was at my lowest. She helped me run when I needed to escape. She kept me sane when I had nothing out there in the world and I loved her for that. I loved her more than she would ever know.

I tapped softly on the glass to gain her attention. She looked up smiled at me and gestured for me to come in.

"Hi JJ, I hope I'm not bothering you. Just wanted to wish you a wonderful weekend."

"You're leaving already?" she questioned as she look up at the clock behind me. It was still early.

"Yeah, I finished up my paperwork and Hotch let me leave early" I said trying to not give away any more information. JJ was smart, and she would be able to tell immediately if something was wrong.

"Em, is everything alright"

Dammit! How could she be able to read me so easily! She was so new at profiling, and always seemed to surprise me.

"Yes, everything is fine. Just exhausted from the case and I'm not feeling very well, I think I may be coming down with something"

She looked at me, questioning my excuse. She must have believed me as she stood from her desk, walked over to me and gave me hug.

"Call me if you'd like some company. Henry is with Will this weekend" I nodded and left her office.

JJ's hug made me feel even better than before leaving Hotch's office. I almost stayed behind to see if I could help the guys finish up, but though better of it. Again, I loved these guys but I just didn't have the energy to stay.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Short update before the end of the weekend. This is my first ever fanfic and as much ask want to get this fix out, my brain and hands are not coordinating. Thank you for reading and I plan to update with a longer chapter tomorrow...

"Sergio? Where are you buddy?"

I walked through my apartment looking for Sergio. What I came across was Sergio in the kitchen lying on the counter surrounded by tattered and ripped paper towels. I should have been furious, but all I could do was laugh. The little monster sure knew how to welcome me home. I shooed him off the counter and grabbed a trash bag from under the sink. As I cleaned up his mess I though about what I would do for the rest of my day. I wanted to be home so badly and now that I was I had no idea what I wanted to do. What could I do? Watch TV? Read? Listen to music? Sleep? I was pulled from my thoughts as Sergio purred at my feet. He was hungry and I realized, so was I. After fixing Sergio the fanciest of feasts I decided to order in. These jobs, all of my jobs have prevented me from having some normalcy in my life. I could never keep my fridge stocked; I could never buy more than a half-gallon of milk without it going bad between cases. I was surprised Sergio had stuck around as long as he has.

I'd settled on the couch, dinner long discarded on the coffee table my feet currently resided. The TV droned on as Sergio curled up on my side. The sun was setting and in that moment, I felt peace. My mind was so tired I was no longer thinking. I could barely process the knock on my door. I checked my phone and I had no messages, I wasn't expecting anyone. I dragged my tired body over to the door and peered through the peephole. I got a glimpse of blonde and knew immediately whom it was. I panicked for a bit, what was she doing here? My apartment was a mess; I reeked of Chinese food and hadn't even showered or changed out of my work clothes.

"Emily, open the door. I know you're in there. It's cold out here!"

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled the door open, a smile never leaving her face as she handed me a bottle of wine and walked past me into the apartment. Why did she have to be so cute!

I closed and locked the door behind me as I walked over to the kitchen to grab two wine glasses. I found JJ standing near the window looking down at the city. Her silhouette making this moment feel a lot more like home.

"Can I take your coat?" I asked offering her a glass. She nodded and stepped out of her coat, handing it to me. I took her coat and passed her the glass, promptly turned to hang her coat near the door, the smell of her perfume hitting me as I moved back towards her. I could not believe she was here. I mean, she often showed up unannounced, but I craved her so much that this visit seemed unreal. She seemed unreal standing in my apartment, looking at me as if she had known me all of her life and would do anything for me. Deep down, I knew that she would, I knew that she would fight for me, but I choose not to believe it. I chose not the think of her as I tried to fall asleep at night. I choose not to think of her as we came face to face with the scum of the earth. I loved her and I had to protect her from me.

I sat on the couch watching JJ as she leaned on the glass observing the city. There must have been something on her mind, as she was so deep in though, it felt as she almost forgot I was here.

JJ snapped out of whatever thoughts she was having and walked over to sit next to me on the couch. We shared a smile and sat together in comfortable silence. We had known each other long enough to realize that there wouldn't need to be many conversations. We just needed to be near each other. We just needed the company to get through the night. We needed to have a shared connection that would allow for a tolerable rest. We often shared nights like this, her at mine and I at hers. That's where Henry and I ruled JJ house. We spent many night running around the house, listening to JJ ask Henry to slow down, or even ask me if I was an adult in the relationship. I didn't care, Henry was so young, so innocent, so free, and I needed that kind of selflessness in my life. I needed to be around someone so pure and he was one of those people. JJ often laughed at our antics, and I only pushed Henry and myself to make more of a mess, as it was the only time JJ was pure. When she was with Henry, nothing else mattered. She completely left work behind and all that mattered was Henry. When he was with Will, she had a hard time and most of those nights/weekends she spent with me. I felt guilty for feeling joy when she came around. How could I? She was away from her child and she was lonely, but I felt joy when she chose to spend her time with me. She looked over to me with a small smirk on her face, she knew something and I was going to have to work hard to get it out of her.

"Tell Me," I asked as she shook her head and looked away.

"I can't, Henry swore me to secrecy" she laughed as she looked away.

I couldn't help but stare, she was so beautiful, so honest and I loved her. I loved her with every inch of me and I couldn't tell her. I couldn't share with her what I wanted to share. I couldn't tell her because she would not love me back. She was still battling her feelings for Will and accepting the end of their marriage, and who was I to step in now and ask her to share some time with me? As much as I loved JJ around, I hated it. I hated that I could not have her. I hated that I could not touch her.


	3. Chapter 3

Love All, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None 07/07/2015

Chapter 3

A/N: Hello everyone, thanks for reading, following, and liking my story. I sincerely thought that this wasn't going to be a big deal and that I would post my story and be done, but holy, I've only been able to write 3 chapters and I think this would be at least 10 chapters to completely convey JJ's and Emily's relationship. I've been a reader on this site for many many years (okay more like 5 yrs) but this is my first posting. I have great appreciation for those of you that post your stories, update daily/weekly. I bow down to you! My plan is to update at least weekly. So here's my update for this week. Keep your reviews coming!

We sat together staring out the window at the city below. Her closeness was really all I needed to close my eyes. I'm not sure how long I had been resting my eyes before I felt JJ take the glass out of my hands. How I didn't spill the wine all over my lap was beyond me.

"Emily, let me take you to bed"

"JJ, I'm sorry I fell asleep. I guess I really was tired. Please stay, I really wish you wouldn't drive home so late"

"I wasn't planning on leaving Em"

This response peeked my interest. What had she meant? Perhaps I was over thinking this? She stepped around me and headed towards my bedroom. I still wasn't sure what JJ's intentions were as I proceeded to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I tried to imagine what JJ was doing in my bedroom; I tried to imagine how her skin felt in an intimate situation. I tried to imagine being with JJ and Henry, loving them as if they were my own, and it was difficult. How could I give her what she needed? How could I keep her happy? I loved her very much and I had no idea how she felt.

I finished up my drink and slowly walked to the bedroom where I found JJ already curled up in bed. I wasn't sure if she was asleep, but I tiptoed to the bathroom to change. JJ had spent many nights in my bed, especially after a long case or nights of drinking. I wasn't sure how normal that was, I mean best friends behaved that way right? They shared a bed, sometimes shared clothes, foods, drinks, right? I crawled into bed next to JJ and tried to settle into sleep before she spoke.

"Tell me what's wrong Em"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"I can feel it. You're behaving differently. Was it our last case? Does this have anything to do with your special day tomorrow?

"What do you mean you can feel it? I haven't been behaving differently. I was just having a bad day today."

"Talk to me Em, you've been so withdrawn since we've been back. Our last case was hard and as soon as I got back I wanted to see Henry, I wanted to hold him in my arms. I needed to believe he was safe and everything was okay. It's normal to feel guilt or even sadness for the victims of our cases. I do all the time. Its okay to feel Em, you don't need to hide from me."

I wasn't sure if I hated or loved JJ for knowing me so well. Actually I take that back, hate is a strong wrong; I know deep down I would always love JJ regardless of how perceptive she was. I could never hate her, but I was now struggling with dealing with my emotions. I feared that if I spoke to her about what was bothering me, I would indirectly confirm my feelings for her, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

"JJ please, let's just get some sleep." I pleaded.

"Em, please talk to me. I care about you and want to be able to help you. I love you, I hope you know you can tell me anything"

I almost stumbled out of bed at this admission. JJ just told me that she loved me, but me being who I am, is most likely overthinking her admission and have now backed myself into a corner of fear. A corner I have gown accustomed to, as I frequented this corner whenever someone admitted his or her true feelings to me.

"JJ, I don't know what to say. I care very much about you as well but I have a hard time opening up to people"

"I know, but you can trust me Em."

She held my hand between hers. Okay, wow this is escalating quickly I thought. We had never held hands before. This felt different, and I liked it, but I still feared that I could not handle this.

"JJ, I loose a piece of me every time we come back from a case. I come home broken and kind of lost. I can't imagine what this last case must have been like for you. I don't think I can do this job anymore. I'm too affected by the monsters that we hunt. They break me down and I'm having a hard time building myself back up in between cases. Whenever I feel as if I have made some advances, new cases always push me back. I'm so tired, and I'm so hurt, and I'm so sad. I'm sad for you and what you must have gone through during this case. I love Henry and Jack, and every step throughout this case reminded me of them. Reminded me of the family I don't have, of the family I hope to have some day"

I don't know when I started crying, but I did and JJ was right there pulling me into a warm embrace. Allowing me a moment to relax in her arms, giving me hope that maybe, just maybe, JJ felt for me. Felt for me what I did of her. She was rubbing my back as I cried into her shoulder and somewhere in between touching me and whispering that everything would be okay, I fell asleep.

When I woke the following morning, it was to the sun blinding me in my sleep. I had never been able to sleep through the night without tossing and turning or with the occasional nightmare. But last night, I experienced neither. I felt as if I did not move, but I must have as JJ was no longer in bed next to me. Before I could climb out of bed in search of her, she walked into the room holding out a tray.

"Happy Birthday Em! I made you breakfast and I'm delivering it to you in bed! That's okay right, if not I can take it back to the kitchen and we can sit at the table, I mean I wasn't sure if you ate in bed or even in your room, I mean I don't like bugs either or crumbs in the bed, but today is such a special day I wanted you to know that…"

"JJ, slow down. This is wonderful" I said as I patted the spot next to me.

"Sit with me, I've never had anyone make me breakfast in bed before. That was really sweet of you. This is by far the best birthday ever! I love pancakes, and coffee and eggs and bacon and really all the breakfast foods but I love this the best!"

JJ was smiling at me, gosh that smile, I loved every inch of her and I loved to see her smile. We sat propped up against the head board and had breakfast while chatting about birthday experiences. When our bellies were full and coffee mugs empty, JJ stood to take the tray back into the kitchen.

"I can do that you know"

"Nonsense, today is your birthday Princess. You should be waited on"

"What? In what world? I'm an adult JJ, and I've been very capable of taking care of myself for all 39 of my birthdays"

The look JJ gave me stopped my speech

"Em, let me do this for you. Let me show you how loved you are"

She reached out to touch my shoulder. I didn't know what to say, was this what it was like to have a family that cared for you? That treated you like a princess on your birthday?

"JJ, don't ever call me princess again. I hate when Morgan does it, please don't start as well. I'm 40 yrs old today far from a princess"

She smiled at me, ran her hand from my shoulder down to my hand where she gave it a light squeeze. She turned and left me there standing in the middle of my bedroom.

"You should shower Em, maybe it will help you relax and hopefully you can wash away some of the grumpiness you woke up with"

What the heck, I wasn't grumpy. Surprised by her and breakfast in bed, yes. Independent, yes. Grumpy, no.

"hey! I am not grumpy" I said I walked up behind her in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was not grateful for breakfast in bed. Believe me, this is the best birthday I've had in a long time and for that I thank you. I am going to take your advice and shower, I'm starting to smell" I said as I bumped her hip into the sink.

"Ouch Em! That's going to bruise"

"don't be such a baby, I barely tapped you"

"um with that big butt of your, what you considered a tap was like a shove"

I immediately stopped walking and turned to face JJ. She did not just tell me I had a big butt! JJ of course had the sexiest smirk on her face but no matter how sexy found her, she was not going to win this battle. By the time I opened my mouth to speak, she threw the wet sponge she was holding straight at me. I had no time to react, I was so busy thinking about how cute she was that I didn't realize what was happening until the sponge smacked me in the face.

"No you didn't!"

"oh yes I did" was her response before she ran past me towards the bedroom. I chased her in hopes to retaliate but again was blind sided she I was almost knocked over with a pillow.

"This war!" I said as I threw the sponge in her direction. I of course missed and it landed somewhere behind the bed. I grabbed a pillow off the bed and ran to the corner JJ was hiding in. She hit me with her pillow and I hit her with mine, we were both laughing and yelling at each other. I had to stop for a bit to catch my breath and clear my sight as my eyes were filling with tears at how much we were laughing. Of course JJ took this as an opportunity to beat me up. I dropped my pillow and started attacking her, well tickling her. I reach out and tickled her sides and she could not contain her squeaks and yelps in between gasping for air. I wasn't sure if she was laughing or having a panic attack. I pushed her unto the bed and straddled her, continuing to tickled her.

"say mercy"

"never… I.. will ne..ver.. concede to you!"

"oh no?" I said as I tickled harder

"Em" she begged

"say mercy"

"No!"

"JJ, you can barely breathe. Just say mercy"

"make me"

Hmm I was tickling her so hard she could barely breathe and she was daring me to make her say mercy? How was I supposed to do that? I decided not to think about it and just feel. I leaned in and kissed JJ. I was short and very sweet. Something I didn't think I would've done, nor did JJ by the look on her face.


End file.
